Spider-Man 3 Review

When I go to the movies and watch all the eye dazzling trailers I usually forget what I am watching, sometimes even wishing that I was watching one of those movies instead. Spider-Man 3 was one of those trailers, notice how I said trailers and not movies. I went into this movie expecting the best of the best. The movie took the crown for most expensive budget ever for a movie at $258 million, and third overall when numbers are adjusted for inflation. War and Peace coming it at a surprisingly high cost at 560 million. Either way this movie had everything going for it, it could be just an average film and somehow still manage to please all the fans, because Spider-Man can do no wrong .

Now let's get to the movie. It started off alright, although the introduction was a bit longer than most movies, and everyone knows how pointless and annoying they are especially when it's like the cherry on top of the trailers, commercials, and trivia questions that appear over and over. The movie starts out with little pathetic Tobey Maguire finally happy about his life, and everything is just going fabulous. School is great, Mary Jane loves him, and well the movie takes a sudden downfall about 2 minutes into it. Kirsten Dunst is singing a duet, and Parker is lip-sync hing it in a way you might find a fool who knows the song but not the words. Things take a quick down turn when Mary Jane loses her job and starts to complain like a typical girl about her life to Peter. Did we forget how much of a bitch she was in other movies to Parker when he wasn't known as Spider-man, and her life was just amazing? I didn't. Soon enough she makes his life fall apart, and Harry the little rich boy comes after Peter for payback. It's not really anything personal, he's just a bored young man, has no women, and wants to use his power on somebody. Anyway good old Spidey is nice and saves his life, and what do you know Harry forgets what happens.

Sooner or later, like the other two Spider-Man movies, he starts to question himself. After Mary Jane does enough crying and whining you start to want to smack her yourself, and then Harry comes back again in a vicious way. Mary Jane betrays him, and makes her big move on Harry. He then gets infected with the parasite tarish stuff. He becomes an Emo douche bag, pointing fingers and walking down New York like a jackass for about 15 minutes. Then he does the most embarrassing pelvic thrust I have ever seen on the big screen. This isn't a 1 second thrust, but about a good 30 seconds of him thrusting his pelvic. Parker then tries out his new style, and starts to become Jim Carrey, NO LIE. Just like the club scene with Cameron Diaz in the Mask, Tobey breaks out in the most atrocious display of a spoof of the Mask since it came out. There is about a 10 minute scene of him dancing around, gliding on a chair down the dance floor defying gravity, and get this, he brings down the house with his moves and piano playing skills. I honestly was waiting for him to open his mouth up and say "Smokingggg."

Bring in the villains, the Sandman is a joke, how do you defeat him? Then we got Venom played by Topher Grace, and he does an alright job in human form, but in no way is he a Venom. Things only get worse from here on. Harry and Peter have it out with a bang bang score during the whole fight scene, if this wasn't the score from Friday the 13th I don't know what is. Fast-forward a little more, the final battle takes place, Harry comes to help Spider-Man who wants again is left with his mask all ripped apart at the very end of the movie. He saves the day and manages to defeat the ever powerful Venom, and say good day to Sandman. Harry finally dies, and puts his life before Peter's. Mary Jane cries again in the end, for about the 18th time.Right before it ends the classic cemetery scene takes place like the first one. The movie is concluded the way it started, with Dunst singing. Ear plugs pleaseeeeee.

The acting was the worst I have ever seen by any of these actors. Mary Jane was just downright annoying, and pointless. Tobey was over the top, and I don't even know what Franco was smoking during his part. On top of that the score had to be an inside joke or something with other composers. The action scenes were all the same. They started off intense, slowed down at times, and switched the camera angles so much you weren't sure if you were looking from the ground up, or from inside Parker's camera lens. The whole movie seem like a horrible spoof on Spider-Man, throughout the whole 2 hours and 30 minutes there was stupid, pointless scenes. This movie gets a 2 out of 5, I just hope they stop producing this series now before it turns into Star Wars 1,2,3. Just so everyone knows I give the first Spider-Man a 5 out of 5. That was one of my favorite movies, I don't hate Sam Raimi or anyone else in the series, it's just that this movie was THAT bad.